Dear Younger Fred…you tried to control everything until…
You'll plan every detail… your career, your relationships, your next ten steps.
You'll believe that if you can just prepare enough, nothing will ever go wrong.
And for a while, it'll feel like you're right.
You'll hit milestones.
You'll build routines.
You'll convince yourself that control equals peace.
Until life reminds you otherwise.
It'll start the day Grandma is diagnosed with dementia.
You won't see it coming… no one ever does.
You didn't plan for it.
You didn't ask for it.
It just… happens.
Suddenly, everything you thought you had under control disappears.
You'll drop everything… school, work, plans… to be there.
Because you're the oldest, the one who speaks English, the one everyone turns to.
You'll find yourself at every appointment, every care meeting, every late-night hospital visit that requires strength you didn't know you had.
And then, in the middle of it all, another blow… one of your closest mentors will suddenly pass away from a heart attack.
No warning. No time to prepare.
Just gone.
Those moments will humble you in ways nothing else could.
You'll realize the future is never guaranteed… and that the grace of today is all you truly have.
That's when you'll learn something priceless…
Control gives you stability, but surrender gives you peace.
And somewhere in that storm, you'll find your balance.
Because it's not all one or the other… it's both.
You'll learn that life is a dance between effort and surrender.
You take the steps. You put in the time. You move forward one day at a time…
even when the weight feels unbearable.
You don't suppress what you feel… because suppression doesn't make it go away… it just hides it for later.
Instead, you trust that it all has meaning… even if you can't see it yet.
Because in hindsight, you'll realize every event shaped who you are… and every challenge had purpose.
So you keep showing up.
You do what's right.
And you trust the process… that consistent effort, paired with faith in life's timing, will carry you where you're meant to go.
And maybe I'm wrong… but every time I've loosened my grip and trusted the process, life has surprised me with something better than I could've planned.
Because through those moments… the ones that brought you to your knees…
you'll develop something deeper than resilience.
You'll develop range.
And that range will allow you to reach others in ways you couldn't before…
as a father,
as a husband,
and as a financial planner.
It's the empathy born from pain that becomes your greatest strength.
That's the paradox, Fred…
You think control will make you strong…
but it's surrender that will make you whole.
Baaaaam… that's it for today.
See you next Thursday.
Stay curious,
Fred
