Dear Younger Fred…here is where I went wrong…
Early on, you'll always try to have something interesting to say when you walk into a room — the latest market insight, a clever story, or a topic that makes you seem relatable.
And honestly, that'll work sometimes. You'll connect with people, make them laugh, and feel good about the connection. They might even say… "Geeeze that Fred guy is pretty unique eh?"
But here's what you'll learn later on: people don't just want someone interesting — they want someone who understands them. You'll realize that's what you actually want too! Think about your best friends…what do they do that makes them your best friends?
One day, you will encounter a crisis with your intimate partner ….and someone close to you will give you a new paradigm for life:
"How can I be Interested in others vs. How can I be interesting in front of them?"
And that will change everything - I PROMISE!
You'll start each conversation with open-ended questions — not as a tactic, but out of genuine curiosity.
You'll aim to speak less and let others feel heard…and you'll start noticing that spark in conversation with others….that moment when they light up and get so animated about something they're almost vibrating with energy - lean into it!!
That's when you'll know you've found something real. At first, it'll feel like you're just talking about trees: small details, your pets…day-to-day things… but stay curious long enough, and you'll start to see the forest (raw human emotions).
That's where the real connection happens.
And that's where you'll rediscover others — and yourself — again, again and again.
Lastly, don't worry, you will make it through with that intimate partner and you will be better for it. Just remember to thank her for believing in you and holding on.
Baaaaam that's it for today.
See you next Thursday!
Stay curious, Fred.
